burning match

You Look Strong On The Outside All The While Dying On The Inside.

Spiritually you can be on your last breath so disconnected from Source that you are terminally exhausted. You can be emotionally ready to crumble from untended wounds. Mentally you can be so stretched you are ready to break into a million pieces if just one thing doesn’t drop the way it should.

But you can look good ~~ for a while.

I’ve done it. I would have to say that is one of my better than average skills.

And I’ve crashed too.

We can get so good at compartmentalizing our fears, our wounds, our traumas we trick ourselves into believing that they no longer exist. Until something in the general vibrational vicinity happens and the over the top reaction comes flooding out.

What do you do? Well, some of that depends. Are you pre-crash but you know it’s coming? Are you a little afraid to go digging up bones for fear of what might spring out? Understandable.

Start by first by stabilizing your behavior. Getting more rest. Eating better. Taking time out. Starting a meditation practice. Denying self-care is a form of abuse. Get help if you need to. As you begin to withdraw from some toxic behaviors you will be in a better position to look at the bigger arc of your circumstances.

If you are post-crash and feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck. You have to soothe. You have to unwind. You can’t process anything right now. You are overloaded because your bags are too tightly packed.

I’m a big fan of working it out in a journal. It is a form of prayer and meditation for me. I receive quite a bit when I am connected through writing: clarity, peace, a sense of being grounded. I usually just start free-writing which can seem very chaotic, but over time my thoughts slow and they organize.

Pre or post-crash there comes a point where you have to surrender. You have to ask for help from your Higher Power. After the break-up, the meltdown, the hospital stay, the setting our hair on fire moment the one thing we usually do feel is raw, stripped bare. There is a clarity that can come in those moments, but you can also shoot yourself in the foot to stop thinking about a toothache.

I used to think that was the inevitable destination. Just store everything up and pick up the pieces once it all explodes all over the place. Imagine my surprise when I learned to maintain mental, emotional and spiritual health actually meant that you didn’t have to live that way. One crisis to the next. On the contrary, while we think of caring for ourselves as selfish it is the most loving thing we can do for our loved ones and family.

 

 

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